I was walking down the sidewalk one day - it was your average weekday kind of jaunt - when I felt a pang upon my head followed by a clattering of metal on concrete. Looking down I beheld a curious sight of gold-rimmed spectacles with tinted glass. As any person would suspect to do, I looked around and around for the source of this suspicious appropriation. No buildings stood above me to warrant a casual drop or fling from such heights, nor was there a soul around me. What was one to assume but that these spectacles came from God? Sure that I was to be the next prophet and these were to be like the arc or burning bush, my own grand talisman of power, I quickly scooped them from their resting place.
For something supposedly coming from God, I expected them to be much heavier. Why were they not pure gold? All biblical stories spoke of great wealth and craftsmanship in God’s objects. I felt gypped of my moment. These glasses could have been purchased from Target, with their cheap gold colored painted scrap metal and plastic lenses. There was no way that I would accept this as my prophetic calling card. But, because I’m a quality neighbor and a fine resident of this city, I tucked those glasses into my jacket pocket with intentions of swiftly dropping them in the next garbage pail that I came upon.
Oh but the story doesn’t stop there. I dare say, I wish it had, for not two steps along the business of my walk, I walked head first - and in a very painful manner, I have the lump to prove it - into the air. When my doctor asked later the cause of my accident - I had to make sure that I wasn’t concussed you see - he didn’t believe that I had simply walked into air. But I tell you I did. When I went to move forward once again, I smashed right into that darn air. Now, I still to this day have no clue how the thought of putting those spectacles on popped into my head, but it sure did. Sometimes I wonder if that was God’s way of saying, “No Sir, you can’t die this day.” So I reached into my pocket and put on those cheap things, but oh, they weren’t cheap anymore, I tell you. Those very spectacles saved my life.
That wasn’t air before me. No. It was this grotesque creature and in his hand was this club that he planned to bludgeon me with. I am not ashamed to admit that I yelped and scurried right out of the way of that flying club and right down the street. I don’t know what God’s intentions are with these here spectacles - now, no you cannot touch them and I won’t be passing them around - but I plan on carrying them with me everywhere. Oh, is it time now. Well good evening to you all. I guess it’s time for my medication.
A white clothed nurse came forward and wheeled the old man from his spot by the window. His imaginary audience stood up as well and shuffled on their way. Once the man and his aid had left the common room, another door from the opposite corner opened. Stooping to clear the door frame, a grey scaled creature walked in, club dragging behind him.